Competition - Belonging, Obligation & Mediumship

This is excerpted from our Shamanic Ministry Program curriculum. We are working the energy of what it means to be a person and how personhood evolves on many levels. Chief to understanding personhood is the context in which it is invented. There are myriad ways to understand it, but the best way perhaps is to understand the dynamics of belonging, competition and what we call "mediumship." Mediumship in this context simply refers to our ability to match and unmatch other people's energy. Matching involves channeling characteristics, feelings, and ideations from another being into your being. We do this consciously and unconsciously all the time. The presumption of what is written below is that an individual will match and unmatch different people and groups throughout their many lifetimes. In so doing an individual will achieve varying degrees of belonging simply by virtue of matching energy. This article describes what happens dynamically once the matching or unmatching begins.

“I want to belong!”

What happens when you are are wanting that?

Be aware of what it means when you are asserting that you do not belong. Awareness of not belonging comes from you having weighed, measured and judged yourself as lacking in some requirement of belonging.

You will invariably formulate a plan for establishing that belonging, and within that plan lie your unique mental image pictures of what belonging means to you. These pictures are always created from strategies and experiences you have enacted over lifetimes relevant to obtaining what you are lacking. 

When you employ any kind of strategy you automatically acknowledge some level of competition with either your own defects or the demand that you meet some standard that you will be judged by.

For instance: “I want respect!” Built into your wanting is the fear that people will not or do not respect you. This wanting also presumes that there is something lacking in your relationship. This presumption of lack triggers pain, and the pain then becomes a problem that needs to be fixed. The analyzer (always the first to rescue you from problems) kicks in and reasons one of two things.

  1. It is your own fault

  2. It is their fault

What follows is the concatenation of a list of behaviors you will engage in to fix the problem.

  • You may decide you need to have a certain amount of money before you can be respected.

  • You may decide you have to drive a certain kind of car before you can be respected.

  • You may decide you have to look a certain way before you can be respected.

  • You may decide you have to cultivate certain friendships and relationships before you can be respected.

  • You may decide you have to destroy someone or something before you can be respected.

You then go about fulfilling a checklist of all of the things to achieve so you can be respected. What often happens is that after so much effort you find yourself having pretty much everything on that checklist; and yet you are still not sufficiently respected or happy. Shouldn’t you be happy? You did everything you thought you needed to do. Something went wrong. There must be a problem. The analyzer kicks in and reasons:

  1. It is your fault

  2. It is their fault.

Right back to where you started...

How do you break the chain of failures to be respected, liked, loved and happy?

Perhaps you should stop trying.

We said earlier that underneath the hood of your wanting lurk fear and pain pictures. Consider that going into effort and going through the motions of PROVING you are worthy of something only makes your fear greater and increases your pain. When fear and pain pictures get bigger, your need to prove your worthiness to others increases and you can get really stuck in a life that ultimately makes you miserable.

Consider how others perceive and react to your efforts. They may laud your achievements: You got the money. You got the look. You have everything required to be measured a success. But can they ignore the frustration, fear and pain that fuels the engine of the life you have created?

Success often yields failure of another sort which is why so many people (especially sensitive people) find it elusive. Consider that an inability to reach a standard of belonging is your soul’s way of saying, “Wait a minute. I’m afraid. Something hurts.”

So where does competition come into the picture? With the two judgments that launch belonging-seeking behaviors:

  1. It’s your fault (competition with yourself)
  2. It’s their fault (competition with others)

When competition arises:

  • It engenders obsessive/compulsive beliefs and patterns. It creates “machine” energy in our emotional drive and motivation causing our sensory abilities to be shaped by the problem-solving analyzer’s programmed limits.

  • Alternative viewpoints and ideas cannot be seen or heard because the energy gets set to narrowly focus one's awareness through the blame picture. The blame picture dictates the powerful feeling, “I NEED this to be true,” and therefore, “I won't hear or see anything counter to that truth.”

  • Resources are employed into forcing the blame picture into being a truth. Some call this delusion. I call it resistance. Maybe it is both. When you do this you are investing life force energy heavily into the fear and pain pictures behind the blame - making them so big that they take over your being. Have you ever heard the axiom, "You can become what you resist?"

  • Being in competition causes us to avoid looking at our own doubts, fears and vulnerabilities because our ability to perceive what's under our own hood gets cut off. We stop hearing the voices of our pain or seeing the evidence of our fear. We grow psychically blind and deaf. 

  • Competition is about making rights and making wrongs. It is about procurement versus discernment. People sitting in competition energy seek to gain something they believe they need desperately. This desperate need becomes the siren song and rigidly guiding principle over all that can be seen, heard and comprehended in one's life.

  • Souls being cut off from seeing and hearing each other or themselves suffer. Competition reduces reality itself to suffering. Someone has to pay even if that someone is me.

The suggestion to avoid these pitfalls is to "stop trying." Pull back. Let go. Do all of the things a good meditation practice can deliver. Giving yourself the space to breathe and separate from winning the game takes you out of the friction and frey of all the pressing matters that seem monumentally important when you are lit up in fear or pain.

Making yourself at home with your ability to exit the frey brings you back to neutrality. When you can be neutral to something you can see and hear it clearly. Your discernment is keen and your disposition toward that something flows effortlessly. You know what to do. What to say. How you feel. Your relatedness to that thing is understood and peaceful. Neutrality yields total comprehension.

For instance if you are neutral to wealthiness, you are likely at ease with your own truth about wealth. If your truth is to make lots of it, then you can do so effortlessly. If your truth is that you should only have what you need, then you will effortlessly manifest what you need.

Getting to that truth is the trick of the matter. To begin that journey you have to learn to let go. Pull back. Find your amusement in life and learn to stop playing games that nobody ever wins. Are you in this to be happy, or are you in this to be something else?

Isn't happiness what seeking to belong is all about? Coming out of competition with yourself or others brings you to neutrality where you can answer that question for yourself.

Gay pride and the freedom to marry... why we all Have Reason to Celebrate

I confess as a 52 year old gay man in this country, I was quite moved by the outpouring of support for the Supreme Court decision making same-sex marriages legal in all 50 states. Person after person, and company after company, went the extra mile to say simply, "Yay! Love wins."  I'm always surprised to discover that non gay people support gay people with fervency and authenticity. I'm always surprised when both non gay and gay alike come to an understanding that sexuality is free to all and should never have been politicized or polarized in the first place. The only reason gay people even exist as a coherent grouping of people is because a bunch of somebodies throughout history felt that they would be more potent at heterosexuality if they asserted their opposition to homosexuality. The ongoing hatred of women and subjugation of the feminine is what fuels this animus and is behind what we call "homophobia" as well.

 If one asserts the feminine in oneself  and has a male body then that male must be weak and addled like women are. If women assert their feminine aspects outside the prison walls of social and religious convention, then she must be a deviant who is trying to be a man and usurp a man's rights and power. Women should never have power if we truly buy into this principle. The feminine is NOT equal to the masculine. The masculine must be on top. The masculine must be in control. The truly masculine and worshipers of the masculine must live by this ethic whether they feel differently inside or not. We must uphold this value as a society or our society will be weak right? WRONG WRONG WRONG... 

The ruling on same sex marriage has ignited once again the hatred of the feminine in this country like never before. The masculine hegemonic "traditionalists" are attempting their feeble arguments which aren't really arguments but religious proscriptions and the vicious, stentorian bleating of radicals who are ironically insecure worshipers of the masculine. Good and rational arguments cannot be made in favor of hating and fearing as being somehow necessary. As each of us seeks our own freedom, so do each of us discover in our own way that nobody is free until we're all free. Once you get there, you simply CAN'T support oppression of any kind.  Why? Because you know that if you do you doom yourself to be bound by that oppression as the oppressor as much as you seek to bind the oppressed. When you mature into a true experience of freedom, "power" becomes less about the capacity to dominate or subjugate and more about the capacity to empower and create more freedom for everyone.

Having felt squashed like a bug by my own gayness for most of my life, my journey to a still evolving understanding of freedom and oppression was slow and painful, but apparently not unfamiliar to others who were on the same journey. My recognition of the others on this journey was slow and painful too. It led me to question my gender, my race, my ethnicity, and my upbringing in search of relief from the crushing weight of being hated in this society. Nobody's free until we're all free. Everyone can "get" this in their own way. You don't have to subscribe to a religion or patriotic ideal to come to this understanding. You simply have to challenge hatred of yourself and others and you'll get there. Guaranteed.

I am republishing a Facebook posting I made last year while I was visiting my hometown of McKeesport Pennsylvania. McKeesport is a tough, blue collar values kind of town. The men there are often threatening and hostile to gays as the masculine ideal must be maintained in accordance with blue collar ethics. Feeling hated and threatened by everyone was a day-in and day-out experience growing up there as it is in most places. Obviously things have changed since I left there over 20 years ago. It's not quite so horrible. They have upgraded to tolerance for the most part, but still have a ways to go. This posting is about a personal encounter I had while buying tires. It was a turning point in my heart and in my life for the seemingly innocuous events that are described... What happened in the last line really happened.

He was at least 6'4" dirty blond, receding hairline and blue eyes and maybe 40-ish. He looked an awful lot like that guy that played "Leon" the replicant from Blade Runner. I actually did a double take. I decided to get new tires at a local business (here in blue-collar McKeesport), and they had a good price. I had to call and leave a couple messages on the machine about other things I wanted done, so finally the moment arrived when I had to drop off my keys and talk face to face with the gentleman. He stood in front of me and stared at me wide-eyed and dumbstruck. I asked him a few questions about whether I could pay now and pick up the car later since I had to take my dad to the emergency room and wouldn't be back by closing time.... more dumbstruck... more staring. I could palpably feel his shock blasting me in waves, and it was coupled with some indignation and paralyzing fear. It has been quite a while since I've inspired full-on homosexual panic just going about my daily business. My learned response is to get away as quickly as you can without inspiring violence since such things are an extreme likelihood of a gay-panic situation. But something different happened. I paused mid "conversation" and looked him deeply in the eyes. I mustered a smile in my head and my heart, and I felt something inside me reach out and surround him. I gave him a psychic hug and a smallish non threatening smile. I felt genuine love for him for maybe 2 or 3 very long seconds. I broke the silence to say that I would figure something out and be back before closing. For the record, my brother ended up picking up the car for me since I couldn't get there on time. I thought, well that's probably a good thing and thought about all the times in the past when I ran into that situation and more often than naught something bad happened. When I got home my brother had left the key and receipt on the kitchen counter. I looked at it and "Jason" with all his transient dumbstruckness had really stylized and precise handwriting. He had also left me a voicemail thanking me for coming in, and though his throat seemed to close up briefly before saying it, he said, "It was nice meeting you." And with that simple gesture so many wrongs in life were righted.

The Tarpits of Emotion - 2nd Chakra Clairsentient Channeling & The Trained Psychic

On a recent visit to my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA I went out with a couple old friends to a new bar in the city. Pittsburgh is blossoming from a gray, crotchety steel town into a youthful innovative place to visit and live. The new club was full of young hipsters; pasty white, tattooed and wearing all black everything. It was totally fun to sit among this new version of a Pittsburger and compare what I remember to what is. I was loving every minute from the moment we walked into the smoke-filled bar (you can still smoke indoors there), ordered the unbelievably cheap beer and held court as one of the oldest folks in the room. A rather middle-aged hipster, Ron, walked by, and I struck up a conversation with him. It was instant connection. He was clever and witty and we laughed and joked as new friends do. I introduced him to my friend, John, who teaches theater at a university since Ron was a theater technician looking for work. They talked a bit, and also joked and laughed and Ron wanted to say hello to my other friend, Tim. Tim was sitting there smoking, drinking and quiet. They talked but the energy changed a bit and Tim apparently wasn't so receptive. Ron had to tease him out and Tim let him, but the conversation continued at a different pace. I sat back and took in the other goings-on. I started to remember my youth in the gay bars of Pittsburgh and many of the not-so-good times started to flash into my mind. I started thinking more deeply and seriously about the past and in no-time at all I was feeling full of despair, fearful of the people around me, and wishing I could sink into the chair and disappear. My friend John leaned over and humorously confided that Tim HATES going to new places, and he HATES meeting new people, and he becomes a self-conscious mess whenever it happens. I took what he said in, and very quickly realized that my sudden change of mood had more to do with absorbing Tim's present-time fear and self-consciousness than my own life experiences. As always the heroic and somewhat schadenfreude part of me found hilarity in my absurd psychic circumstance, and I managed to laugh out loud and tell John (who is quite familiar with my psychic talents), "Well I was wondering why I suddenly started to feel like shit!" My good mood immediately returned as I did some reflexive energy work in the background to stanch the flow of Tim's emotions into me. Ahhhh clairsentience.

There you have it. A longer story to read than it was to play out, and such stories play out every day for all of us. Everyone is clairsentient. If you ever had an umbilical to your mother, you learned how to channel someone else's life experience and feelings into your own body and mind. The spiritual ability arises from the manifested physical reality and is ongoing even after the umbilical is cut.

Everyone can feel what other people feel. It's the foundation of a biological evolutionary drive to care about one another. This well studied phenomenon is called "Altruism." Clairsentience is NOT altruism. Clairsentience is the spiritual ability behind things like Altruism.  Altruism - is an "ism” (code of conduct) that refers to putting someone else’s needs above your own -- most often demonstrating personal sacrifice to do so. It is considered a moral standard in the Western world which has been examined by everyone from clergy to evolutionary biologists. “Caring” about someone to the point of selflessness may in fact be built into our natures for various reasons, eg, attracting mates.

Women most often feel attracted to altruistic men when seeking long-term relationships. It implies that the man will share his resources with her and her offspring.

Men often feel more altruistic when courting women. Competitive urges are often suppressed by altruistic feelings -- especially if the woman is attractive. If she's pretty, men will perform even more altruistic acts including selfless gift giving and offering to be of service to the woman.

Generally, demonstrative and costly altruism signals to others the presence of resources, and also suggests that the person will cooperate and behave fairly. People generally feel that they can trust an altruistic person.

The fact that both animals and humans are more altruistic towards close kin than to distant kin or non-kin has been confirmed in numerous studies across many different cultures. Even subtle cues indicating kinship may unconsciously increase altruistic behavior. One kinship cue is facial resemblance. One study found that slightly altering photographs so that they more closely resembled the faces of study participants increased the trust the participants felt regarding the depicted persons.

There is science all over the place that has hypothesized what purpose altruistic behavior serves. All of which point to an array of emotions that have evolved along with the evolutionary need to care about one another.

There have been other thoughts on altruism. The author/philosopher Ayn Rand has this to say:

What is the moral code of altruism? The basic principle of altruism is that man has no right to exist for his own sake, that service to others is the only justification of his existence, and that self-sacrifice is his highest moral duty, virtue and value.

Do not confuse altruism with kindness, good will or respect for the rights of others. These are not primaries, but consequences, which, in fact, altruism makes impossible. The irreducible primary of altruism, the basic absolute, is self-sacrifice—which means; self-immolation, self-abnegation, self-denial, self-destruction—which means: the self as a standard of evil, the selfless as a standard of the good.

Do not hide behind such superficialities as whether you should or should not give a dime to a beggar. That is not the issue. The issue is whether you do or do not have the right to exist without giving him that dime. The issue is whether you must keep buying your life, dime by dime, from any beggar who might choose to approach you. The issue is whether the need of others is the first mortgage on your life and the moral purpose of your existence. The issue is whether man is to be regarded as a sacrificial animal. Any man of self-esteem will answer: “No.” Altruism says: “Yes.
— Ayn Rand

Did you know that self-sacrifice, self-abnegation and even self-immolation are spiritual tenets and practices? These are perhaps best and most directly expressed through the Buddhist religion, but they certainly exist strongly in Christianity, Islam and others as well. These behaviors are postulated to be the very behaviors that lead us to enlightenment or a one-ness with God. Enlightenment in this context might also  be understood as the spiritual attainment that evolves our drives and motivations to become better expressions of the divine -- and it all derives from the milieu of the 2nd chakra.

It is fair to say we are driven to care about one another or at least to explore the nature of that caring to our own capacities. As I see it these are the basic drives and motivations we all share. An inherent drive for:

  • Satiety of physical and mental appetites.
  • Power
  • Reputation

All the information that you broadcast and receive through your 2nd is relevant to one or more of these drives and motivations. We are all negotiating our paths in life with respect to caring about what other people think, how they will treat us, and whether we are satisfied by that thought and treatment. Clairsentience is how we stay hooked into one another so we can get a read on that information, MUCH of which is expressed as raw emotion.

How do we have clairsentient information without suffering what others suffer? How do we even know when we are channeling 2nd chakra information?

We all "officially" became psychics to look deeper within ourselves. The point of which is to gain clarity and eliminate pain and limits on our ability to create a happy life. We also became psychics because most of us had indications that we were highly sensitive people and that sensitivity demanded inquiry. It seemed that we could always know what people were thinking and feeling. We may have unconsciously developed and heightened our sensitivity so that we might find our answers in other people's deeply felt pain. We may have educated ourselves in psychology, religion, philosophy and other sciences as our need for more sophisticated, potent, and lasting answers grew to be even greater. Most of us realized at some point that we were healers. That we could acutely feel other people’s and even animal’s pain.  (Many of us became vegetarians as a result.) We took for granted that we could naturally put ourselves in other people’s shoes, walk a mile in their moccasins, and willingly and perhaps even desperately climb inside their minds, hearts and feelings. Eventually we discovered that our sensitivity was heightened out of a need to release our own pain. We may have even become dependent on “linking up” to others as a means of validating that pain and our need for an answer to it. This “linking up” became an unconscious strategy for managing that pain in both ourselves and the people we were healing.

Pain and discomfort are factors in an evolutionary process.

Sensitivity is a sword that cuts both ways. It means we are excellent receivers of information, and it also means we are excellent senders of information. It really cannot be any other way. Pipes flow in both directions. We may have become so sensitive that we could in essence broadcast and telegraph our pain outward -- unconsciously knowing that it would connect to someone else; someone just like you, someone on the same or similar quest for an answer. And that action too, solves one kind of pain at least -- the pain of loneliness. We call this cording.

In time we may have so many cords or “feelers” out there that we are taking in (and likely giving away) more energy and information than is healthy. We are also broadcasting more answers to that pain which may begin to take a toll on us if that answer involves your life-force healing energy, and you are healing everyone you are connected to as a kind of reciprocity for them being part of your answer. As the axiom goes: You give a healing and you get a healing. As you evolve and come closer to the understanding you seek, you are able to process more information through those feelers. In fact, you may be able to take in very complex aspects of another person. The clairsentient mechanisms, once in place and validated, become quite formidable. Your sensitivity becomes more than a vague sense of attraction, repulsion, or recognition. In fact you start pulling in complicated emotional structures, like sexual drive, ambition, elation, euphoria, contentment, depression, and despair. As the information pours into you, you have in effect multiplied your life experience by viscerally experiencing things from others that you haven’t suffered or experienced yourself at all. In time you may learn excellent lessons about pain and pleasure, and you become quite good at recognizing and understanding the life experience of others - we call this empathy.

Empathy is a state of being that results from the clairsentient mining of information. It does not mean you feel what other people feel. It means you have FELT what other people were feeling and you processed that information into a kind of wisdom... hopefully. Empathy is the exercise of such wisdom. Conversely “apathy” is the avoidance of or indifference to such wisdom, and antipathy is animosity or hatred toward the source of such wisdom - the life experiences of others.  All three of these states of being can result from merely being a “highly sensitive” person.

The pictures that make us highly sensitive are indeed core to our sense of self in this world. We run much of our life energy through these pictures so we know who we are when we are looking at ourselves in the mirror every morning. We define ourselves to others through them.

Have you ever heard?

  • “Oh I'm very blunt about what I feel. I’m not a bullshitter.. I tell it like it is.” - Narcissism
  • “I'm not so good in a crowd. I prefer small intimate gatherings or to be alone.” - Isolationism
  • “I’m very selective about my friends. I don’t let just anybody in.” - Elitism
  • “The only thing you can trust in life is that you can’t trust anyone.” - Anarchism
  • “I’ll give someone the shirt off my back if they need it.” - Heroism
  • “The good of the many outweighs the good of the one.” - Altruism
  • “I’m not important. Only God is important.” - Spiritualism
  • “I don’t do anything for myself. All I care about is my family” - Masochism
  • “I don’t belong in this world. I was made for another time or place.” - Escapism
  • “He made his bed, now he can lie in it. In fact,  I’m going to make sure he does.” - Sadism
  • “There is no greater deed than to die for one’s country.” - Patriotism
  • “One for all and all for one!” - Egalitarianism
  • “I’m all that matters.” - Egotism

Are any of these voices yours? Do any of these resonate more than others. If you've been channeling others your whole life, you've probably participated in every single one of these "isms" at one point or another, but which one is core to your sense of self? Mine is egalitarianism. I swear I was born that way. I did seek the answer as to why, and it took me over 4 decades, but I did get that answer. Lo and behold it was a core picture in my 2nd that basically said I don't belong and I am unwanted. This picture came through the literal umbilical for me, so I was indeed born with it. Perhaps it was the optimism of youth that I turned that picture into a conviction that nobody should ever feel left out, marginalized or unwanted. That picture dictated the nature of my childhood friendships and ironically made me into a bit of a doormat as I grew older. That picture took me on the brunt of my life's journeys, it brought me to create both the picture's fulfillment (in a life experience I never want to repeat), and to the picture's demise which took years to accomplish after I realized that it was even there. My "ism" was a gift and a curse.

All these “isms” are invented to fulfill a core picture in an individual’s space. All of them define who we believe we are in relation to others. ALL of them derive from clairsentient channeling of some sort that either created or fed a picture in the 2nd. They are all strategies to gain happiness and fulfillment of the picture driving them. But what of the happiness of the whole self? We aren’t just the sum of our core pictures are we? We said in the beginning that we became psychics to be FREE of such obligating pictures.

What is this state of psychic freedom-seeking about?

I offer this excerpt from the Creed of The Church of Divine Man. I once belonged to this church. It was in its seminary that I received training in psychic tools. The Creed is what drew me to show up at the door, and it still contains the gravitas to inspire me to my own betterment.

Psychic Freedom creates no ideologies, no isms, no dissenting philosophies which divide, corrupt, and destroy communication between human souls. No governments are upturned, no faiths cut down by the sword, no sects or types eliminated; only a one to one contact between the Cosmic and a living soul, which flames quietly, bringing a lifetime of contentment and a realization that nothing in this world is worth exchanging for that attainment.
— Exerpt of the Creed of the Church of Divine Man

Lewis Bostwick, the church's founder, was talking about a feeling here - contentment. He suggested that a “one-to-one contact between the Cosmic and a living soul (flaming quietly) brings a lifetime of contentment.

What the heck does that mean? I take it to mean that when we connect our own souls to the Divine wisdom directly, and without highly energized life-experience pictures blocking or filtering that connection, we automatically experience contentment. And indeed if, “nothing in this world is worth exchanging for that attainment.” Then this contentment must also yield a fulfillment of some kind. Fulfillment of what though? Our life purpose? Or the purpose of life perhaps? Maybe both? I'm working on finding that out for myself.

But let’s face it, the spiritual tools associated with clairsentience are few. We learned in our training at The Berkeley Psychic Institute that we can cord and be corded by other people and often do so in the 2nd chakra. The BPI taught us clairvoyant tools to work the energy of the matching pictures that created these cords. The BPI taught us to turn down our lower chakras. (Which to many it was a relief to learn that we could squelch the flow of that information.) We were also taught that our healing spirit guides could remove cords. All of these tools work and can even work miracles in our space. And so we plug along improving over time and hopefully gaining more amusement and happiness as we chip away at the pictures that separate us from our soul’s connection to the divine. End of story. Right?

Maybe not.

I heard from those that knew him, that Lewis intended for us to use the tools he taught not just to heal ourselves, but to go into the world and change it. He expected us to go beyond his teachings and to create new tools to take us further and faster to our goals. So I postulated a new tool for the tarpit of 2nd chakra entanglement, The Contentment Tool. People grounded in the use of spiritual tools will get how it works, but the essence of it is simple and timeless. Create a powerful intention to untangle the 2nd and energetically solidify that intention into a machine you clairvoyantly create. The Audacious Spirit has created a Contentment Tool, and we teach it to our graduates of the Next Level Intensive Program. The tool is built on the foundation of another unique tool, The Transmutation Tool which allows us to more holistically and ecologically create healings and energy forms that go well beyond stacking the deck to enable de-energizing of mental image pictures. We are launching our new graduate-level Shamanic Ministry Program in July 2016, and we warmly welcome all trained psychics to attend. We made it easy logistically and financially, and we are happy to speak to you about it any time.


The Curse

Slice of life moment: My dad, at the behest of my mother, burned a Christmas card in a copper flower planter out by the pool just a moment ago. Why? To remove a curse my mother believes was placed on her by a relative who sent the card. The relative is a nice Episcopalian lady who has been sending gestures of caring and friendship for 40 years, but my mom insists she's a witch and has always had it out for her. They asked me to "remove the curse" because of my profession, and because I have actually done stuff like that and mentioned it in passing ... when it was more or less "real" .... so I laugh every time they ask me and recall actual practitioners of magic I have known and think of my poor Auntie Netta and how her only "witchcraft" is to send kindnesses to her hard-hearted sister in law. The laughter never fails to incense my mother who interprets this as me siding with "black magic" and turning against her. It's funny how when things go wrong people still look for witches casting spells as the reason.

In the rare case someone has committed their life forces against you, you'll know it. It won't be evidenced by mere "bad luck" or someone in your life making (more) stupid decisions. It will be entirely in the pain you feel and experience at the enforced separation from that soul. You will be diminished. If misfortune results from that separation, you have to do the work to reconnect to that soul ... that means forgiving him or her and getting back into the flow of the way of things. Resolving the separation with love. Retaliating, or warring with that being only increases the divide and the concomitant pain. We have lifetimes to sort these things out, so it's entirely possible that my mom and Auntie Netta are working out something from a past life ... one which will carry on into the next I think. When I "remove a curse" I try to clear the energy that effects the separation. It can be quite gnarly and full of religious energy or hate-filled cultural distortions. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it's amazingly easy - especially if it has gone on for many lifetimes. There is a soulful weariness that comes with holding onto fear and hate and when a healer (psychic, witch, priest, priestess, etc.) creates an opportunity for redemption it is often accepted very quickly ... but sometimes it is not, and the "curse" lingers. When you commit to hatred and separation you commit to pain. And the only person that can truly "remove" that commitment is you. It's hard. We all hate sometimes. We all stare into our own darkness, and finding it unbearable seek to disassociate from it by pointing out its existence in others, and of course THAT is the reason there is darkness in the world, because it is allowed to go unchecked all around us, and we must band together against it. Let the witch hunts begin.

We all curse one another regularly. Know that with every "fuck you" you open the door a little bit more to feeling shitty yourself because you are wanting for another to feel shitty. This is how darkness multiplies. We feed it more darkness, and then wonder why it never seems to leave. Darkness consumes darkness to stay darkness. Light consumes light to stay light. But each also yearns to consume the other. That yearning is neither dark nor light. It’s human.  Whether we are consumers of darkness, consumers of light or simply yearning we humans are uniquely situated between darkness and light. It may not be the all or nothing proposition that it was to the angels, but then again it may. I honestly don't know.

There are many parts of me that are lightness yearning for darkness and darkness yearning for light. The parts of me that are in darkness are in that state because they are cut off from light. Places in my being where I have been cursed and cursed myself; and that curse has yielded the phenomenal pain of separation. A pain that I believe is uniquely human, but I'm not certain of that. That pain has also yielded phenomenal growth in awareness. It has been caught up in a collision of yearnings in my human experience - colliding also with the yearnings of others. We as individuals and as a human community commingle these yearnings in every way imaginable. These are often the ties that bind us to one another throughout life and even in many lifetimes. These also perhaps represent the cause of incarnate existence. We incarnate to resolve yearning. We incarnate because we all collectively ate the apple. We are all stained with that "original sin" that took us out of a mindless but soulful place in paradise and supposedly demoted us to a place squarely in the middle of light and dark, of good and bad, of love and hate, heaven and hell. I don't know what the purpose of this battle of opposites is about, but I do know what caused it. Yearning and desire.

So fuck you fellow humans. I curse you all for not loving me unconditionally. I curse you all for not saving me when I needed you. I curse you all for every annoyance and pain-in-the-ass look or cruel remark you will deliver. I curse you for tempting me to darkness every single day by marginalizing what light is within me - choosing instead to vilify me for my demons and my courtship with demons - making me of course more valuable to demons. I curse you for your lies and cowardice and fear. I curse you for your darkness. And as I hang here on a cross of my own making, I'll forgive you ... because you know not what you do.

 I'll go deeper within, because you forced me, to light a light rather than curse my own darkness. I'll seek out others to help me feed that light until it is ablaze inside me, or I'll die ... many times .... trying.


Winter's Demons ...

This entry is excerpted from a special lecture offered to our Next Level Intensive Program students during our Erasure Lecture Series of July 2014. I thought it might be an interesting reprise as we enter into the throes of winter. Winter often sends our awareness inward and sometimes it crashes into different energies that we are not conscious of in the long light of summer. As consciousness of these energies rises, so do we experience our own haunted natures and bear witness to the haunting of others. There is much squabbling in the religious and spiritual community about the true nature of evil. Theories abound as to what evil is and where it comes from, and many don't believe it exists at all. Yet as psychics, healers, and shamans we come to know and often tangle with convincing personifications of malevolence, pain, disease and disharmony. Each of us makes our peace with these encounters whether they are met within ourselves or another. Some of us wrestle ... and some of us dance. - Maestro Richard

{Begin Excerpt} Where does your reality live? Is it in your brain? Is it in your body? What happens to it when the body dies?

Because we do not vividly or reliably recall what happened before we were born or after we die, humanity has invented beliefs to fill in those gaps. Certainly reality at large continues. There is ample evidence of that, but what of all the space before and after our lifetimes? What sort of reality is there?

As clairvoyants we are trained to look outside of time and space and see more of “reality at large.” When we do, we we tend to see unfiltered (or perhaps less filtered) the information that is normally processed through our belief systems and intellectual knowledge. We also sometimes have more direct experience of that “other reality” in the form of visions, OBE’s, voices, near-death experiences, spiritual visitations, alien abductions, etc.

A Catholic person may have an understanding of their visions, OBE’s, voices, etc., as coming from a heaven or hell that is familiar to them. And sometimes even from beings that are part of the history of their belief system that they may have never actually learned about … adding to the mystery and often ratifying for the believer the veracity of their experience. “How would I know the Demon’s latin name unless it told it to me directly. I never learned that on my own.”

When we are born in the body, we are born not only into a physical place with all its constituent properties but into an ocean of non physical and non corporeal energy that is attached to the things and people in that place. Our existential milieu involves, nature, nurture and the cosmic currents of supernatural intelligence that we are steeped within. All of these aspects of reality are present in everything we are and everything we say do and feel. Cultivating awareness of the supernatural forces within us and surrounding us gives us more autonomy and freedom to navigate through life in a direction we consciously choose.

I had a vision in psychic school once that the true glue of this universe are “agreements.” Agreements are what bind hydrogen to oxygen to make water. Agreements are what perpetuate the physical laws of this universe in addition to the various conscious and unconscious interactions and social contracts we make with each other. Agreements are what bind us and things to outcomes be they physical or spiritual.

Spiritual agreements are made constantly… with every breath and every blink of your eye. Your continued existence and awareness of your existence is founded upon them.

Everyone has experienced some level of discomfort or anxiety both before or during this lecture series. Often this is instigated by religious beings, gurus, and other agreement-based controlling forces wanting to prevent the advancing awareness of their host’s clairvoyance and autonomy. They will often light up emotions, pain and confusion to prevent one from squaring off with the actual energetic agreement (picture) that would separate the host from the energy of the deity, being, or the group agreement of the religion, society or both.

So let’s talk about religion and everything it has brought into being in this world and beyond: Most of us were raised in some sort of religion. And if not you know people who were and have constantly registered their difference from you. This lecture is about Angels, Demons, Gods, Goddesses, Demi-Urges, Demi-Gods, Gurus & Psychotic Beings…. I lumped them all together for this lecture because I believe such beings are all inter-related and perhaps even interdependent. We as in the body spirits might even be described as codependents of some of these beings according to our nature or nurture.

It is estimated that there are 6,700,000,000 people currently living on the Earth, and the total number of people who ever lived is 102,000,000,000 (102 billion or 102 thousand million). It could be effectively argued that everyone's idea of god is different, so there have been perhaps 102 billion different gods postulated. Each god. Each being. Each postulate of something bigger, better or badder than ourselves was born of our own will and in my opinion absolutely does exist.


Gurus and Psychotic Beings: A universalized definition of psychosis is "loss of contact with reality." The definition is problematic as the perception of reality comes from many places - the mind, the body and the spirit. For the mind and body physical “breakdowns” in chemical systems are researched to explain the “loss of contact” episodes. Spiritually we look for whatever energy separates us from direct access to the full breadth and nature of reality that is NOT represented in a physical breakdown of some sort.

I lumped these two seemingly different types of beings together because they amount to the same thing: An energy that separates us from accessing the full nature of reality on our own.

Gurus and psychotic beings can be fully embodied as people and even perhaps as animals and plants. There is a certain amount of sentient awareness necessary to project the image of a “being” at all let alone an embodied one. If you Google “guru” you can come up with several names of gurus past and present. Similarly with psychotics.

So what do the Pope and Charles Manson have in common? They both presented to others a specific means and example of accessing and defining reality with specific rules and specific guidelines dependent on their personal teachings, their acolytes' teachings, their church …. aka…. their egoic manifestation. Whether intended to harm or not, (I haven’t met a guru or a psychotic individual yet that actually believes they are causing harm), in fact they tend to think they are squarely on the side of “good” and that they even have a better-than-most-people definition of good -- even when they are torturing or killing people.

When I’ve read people who function as guru’s their crown chakras are similar to psychotic people. I have seen bee hives in there. Symbols of many different religions and cultures. I’ve read the presence of multiple beings fully attached to the crown and entangled in the individual nervous system. I have a friend in Pennyslvania who has this type of crown chakra. He is one of the most wonderful people you’d ever want to meet. He lives a quiet life with his lover and has a secret penchant for writing classical music which he NEVER wants to share with the public at large. For whatever reason, he is not involving others in his guru nature… yet.

I have also read psychotic people who looked very squeaky clean on the outside yet the presences in their crown were scaly, destructive, ego distorting beings. They have cords all over them like an information highway and usually when you first gaze into the crown you get whacked like mad if you’re not neutral to the gnarlier aspects of it.

All of this isn’t to tell you there is no place for beings like this in existence. They’re here for a reason. I trust that conclusion without being able to argue for it effectively. Know that both types of beings are very “powerful” mainly because they represent a consortium of beings and information. Gurus have energetic connections to their followers and acolytes. Psychotics have something similar only in reverse. They are the end of the chain of a multiple energetic connection with several beings and intelligences.

Psychotic beings can attach to people in a variety of ways, but they are most fond of the nervous system as this is the primary engine of reality interpretation in the body. But you can find psychotic beings attached to bones and flesh as well - sometimes influencing diseases of those body parts.

Why are there gurus? The answer is obvious and true of all beings. There is something to gain on an energetic level by involving other life forces and beings in your existential project. Usually that project involves the creation or re-creation of reality to suit oneself. We are all gurus to some extent.

Why are there psychotic beings? Similarly there is something to be gained energy wise by involving other life forces and beings in your project to destroy reality. Why would a being want to destroy reality? Because they have traveled far and away from being “inside the beauty of that reality” and have experienced powerlessness to a point they annihilated parts of their own being. What’s left is a narrowly focussed awareness to “feel full or whole” again. We are all psychotic to some extent. {End Excerpt}